Why (And How) You Should Love the Girl Who Outpaced You - Classy Career Girl

Why (And How) You Should Love the Girl Who Outpaced You Why am I at work so early? I could be sleeping right now, dreaming about surfing in Costa Rica. I could be in Costa Rica right now. I just need some coffee to wake me up. “Good morning.” “Morning.” “G’Morning.” Morning. Morning. Mourning. Don’t be so dramatic. Oh no, here she comes. Time to show everyone up again, is it? More like time to show me up. Again. Wait. Seriously, stop. Take a moment to consider that while it may be entertaining to mentally rage at your coworker for excelling at her job, the pros stop there. There are about 100 reasons to love this girl. Let’s talk about five. Why (And How) You Should Love the Girl Who Outpaced You Reason 1 Why: Professional Success According to the University of Maryland, your emotional IQ, or emotional intelligence, is your awareness and ability to control emotions.  You have a high emotional IQ if you can successfully register your emotions, recognize others’, figure out what is triggering emotions, and take that information and manage it. You can improve your emotional intelligence (EI) with simple practice. This is not only a powerful tool to improve your mental health and navigate through daily interactions, but the University of Maryland also states that EI may be responsible for over 58 percent of variations in personal and professional success factors. (and heres an awesome infographic on how you can use your EI at the office.) How: Work on Your Emotional IQ Start by recognizing your nonverbal communication. What do your body language, facial expression, and gestures tell others? Practicing conflict resolution can also help you handle frustrating situations at work. You can work on it by keeping conversations in the present, being careful with your wording, and being ready to forgive and move on from frustrating situations with your coworkers. Reason 2 Why: No Comparison Think of it like the relationship between the sun and a rose. Worrying about how well your co-worker is doing is like a rose worrying about the sun outshining her. Of course, the sun is brighter, but the sun has a different purpose and beauty than a rose. A rose that develops a friendship with the sun will get the best sunrays and will flourish, contrary to one who spends her energy hating the sun and hiding from it. The second rose will seek shelter in the shade, miss the opportunity for growth and wither instead. How: Focus on Yourself Stop thinking about your co-worker who may or may not be doing better than you.  If you are hating on a coworker because they are getting more work done than you are, then you should be looking for ways to improve your productivity, not spending your time resenting them. If you start to feel behind, take moment to breathe and reassure yourself that you are trying and that you are competent at your job. Then, make a plan to help you get to where you want to be. You can do this by making a to-do list, talking with your manager about how you are doing or asking a co-worker for help when you need it. Remember, everyone works at their own pace. Maybe your success is just around the corner, and maybe you are even doing better than your co-worker. It’s important not to compare yourself, but to direct yourself to your plan for success. [RELATED: How to Keep it Classy With Difficult Coworkers] Reason 3 Why: Hating Is Not Helping Maybe you feel overwhelmed, and maybe you feel like internally exploding at your co-worker is the only thing that will get you through the day. The problem, though, is that you are starting a cycle of negative thinking. Negative thinking programs certain behaviors that may be harmful to workplace productivity. On the other hand, the science behind positive thinking shows that it can boost your health and improve your performance at work.  Additionally, you may be creating a hostile work environment for yourself. Healthy competition can be beneficial to productivity, but taking on a negative perspective of yourself will only cause you unnecessary stress in the workplace. How: Turn Off the Hate If you feel resentment towards a co-worker because they outpaced you, pause for a moment and consider your hard work. Give yourself credit for your performance at work; focusing on how well your co-workers are doing is distracting you from reaching your potential. Instead of resorting to negative thoughts, remind yourself of all the victories you’ve been having at work, including minor ones. You can keep a journal or write down positive thoughts or write them on scrap pieces of paper. When you are talking about how you’ve been doing at work, be honest but focus your attention on your accomplishments. This will not only help you seem more productive to your peers, but also to yourself. In turn, this can fuel your motivation to work harder. By thinking positively, you can further incite success in your career. Reason 4 Why: Work Culture You apply for a job, you decide if you like it, you take the job. There is a lot you can’t tell about a job before you start it, and some aspects of the position are bound to fall short. Work culture is important for happiness, but it’s not something that can always be controlled. However, you can take control of your happiness and relationships at work by actively building relationships. How: Make Conversation It can be easy to dislike someone you don’t know, so get to know your coworkers. Ask them what Netflix shows they binge out on, what their favorite restaurant or bar is, if they have any pets, etc. It can seem awkward to try to get to know someone you’ve already been around for a while, but finding something you can both relate to can make them more likable. You don’t have to become besties overnight; you never have to become close friends at all. While you should stay away from forcing a relationship or creating ingenuine friendships, you can easily take small steps to find things in common. This tip will also work if you have known (and resented) a co-worker for a long time. Find an opportunity to comment something to them, give them genuine compliments when you pass by, or figure out what you both like. If nothing else, you will be able to find some common ground and stay away from conflict or frustration when you clash. Reason 5 Why: Crucial Skills All your life, you will be working with people you don’t get along with right away and people you clash with. While that is natural, learning to overcome these obstacles and get rid of the notion that there are some people that you will simply never like is invaluable. From a business perspective, social skills are important for entrepreneurs. You know how vital networking is, so work on creating an attitude that will allow you to befriend anyone. Additionally, smart people surround themselves with smarter people, so hanging around someone you believe to excel at work can be beneficial for you. Plus, you may pick potentially up a few of their tricks. How: Try to Be Their Friend Take that small talk from earlier and take it to the next level. Did you find something you have in common? If not, weekend plans, family, and hobbies are neutral topics you can count on. If you find yourself still coming up short, then have them tell you about something they love.  Hopefully, something will strike an interest. Build off of these moments and slowly strengthen your relationship with your co-worker. Maybe a conversation about a mutual interest in camping, shopping, or watching a sports game will lead to doing the activity together one day. Take these tips to heart and become a classier career girl, and a happier person in general. Hopefully, you can renew your confidence, make a few friends, and lessen your stress at work.